Yesterday, I realized that Memorial Day Weekend 2014 is the weekend of many happenings:
- My parents' anniversary
- My best friend will be back in California
- The graduation of the Class of 2015 from USD
- My cousin's wedding
- One of the weekends I planned to spend with my long-distance boyfriend
The first thing I thought of is how I could possibly be at each occasion and how I should prioritize them.
Naturally, the things that come first are family events, so weddings and anniversaries should be at the top. I have a lifetime obligation to my family and they will always come first. However, there are things that are important to me outside of my family members and I know that I will regret missing them.
Then I thought, "It's not fair." It's not fair that so many important occasions are happening within two days' time.
As I talked to my boyfriend last night, I kind of imploded with frustration. There is no way that I will be present at everything, esp. since all of these events will be happening at different places within the two days of the weekend.
Whenever my plans go awry, I think of a Filipino saying that I learned about last year: Bahala na, which loosely translates to either "Come what may," or "Whatever will be, will be." My mom also says Bahala na ang diyos which means "Leave it up to God."
I've heard this phrase a lot in my years of listening to the language, but I didn't learn the meaning until last year at a workshop for Filipino history. I connected with the phrase immediately because of all the chaos that I was experiencing at the time during my second-to-last semester of college. On top of my school work, I was working on campus, I was a student leader in the Filipino organization, I was having car troubles, and I was having financial aid problems.
That semester, I kept thinking,"maybe if I didn't do so-and-so, then I would have been able to avoid all the trouble." But, the fact that everything was happening at once wasn't under my control. It just happened that way. And looking back at the events that transpired that semester, I don't regret anything that I participated in at all. If I've learned anything from experiences like that and my current situation, it's that nothing ever goes as planned. And all you can do is roll with it.
So, as I make my plans for the summer and throughout my life, I just have to remember that life goes on. When things don't happen as I plan them, I want to remember that it will be ok and that Fate or God has another path for me to follow.
I want to keep telling myself, "bahala na, bahala na," like a tattoo on my heart.