Starting grad school was nerve-wracking. Every time I walked into a classroom on my first day, I was early. The classrooms were still slightly empty, with maybe one student occupying a desk. I would sit down in a small, cramped desk and my brain would go into panic mode.
(1) Wait a second, is this the right class?
(2) I checked the building name and number twice, this should be it.
(3) *Asks another student sitting in the classroom. Now 'm the idiot that doesn't know where I am.
The CSULB campus is also a completely different world than I'm used to. While I walked around, my eyes darted from students who were browsing through anime posters at a tent in the quad to baby-faced undergrads who carried soft laptop cases in one hand and a paper Starbucks cup in the other.
(4) Everyone has a skateboard. Should I have a skateboard?
(5) IT'S SO HOT AND THIS CAMPUS IS HUGE WITH NO SHADE AND THERE ARE SO MANY STAIRS OMG HOW THE HECK
(6) This building is kind of old and scary...
But I always felt a lot better once a teacher went up in the front of a classroom and started to talk. Knowing that you're in the right place and doing the thing you went to do is very calming.
(7) This class is going to be really interesting...
(8) I love reading stuff like this.
(9) Wow, she is so freaking cool.
I think that the best thing about this week was finally meeting up in workshop. Even though we didn't do anything except introductions, I felt like I was meant to be in this program. That brings me to a last thought:
(10) I am lucky that I was accepted here.
When I made the choice to come here, it was because I felt comfortable with the students and I felt like I was wanted there. It felt the same when I met the same students again. They recognized me and welcomed me back, telling me that they were happy that I decided to enroll.
Now that I started the program, I also started a cool new job and have a cool room at my Aunt's house. So everything is cool.
Life is not what I expected it to be, but I am so thankful for all the help I've received, and I'm excited to see what is in store for me during the next few weeks.